Work

I've been enjoying going to work these days.

Ever since all the old co-workers left and the new ones came, the atmosphere has been more fun. Change ain't always bad.

There are more females at work now and we all bond together. We stick together because the guys don't help us out much. It's strange. A year ago, the managers were both women and the store was staffed with mostly men. Now the managers are both men and the store is staffed with mostly women... or well the shifts I work, they are staffed with mostly women, which makes it more fun. We joke around together.

A year ago with the mostly male staff, I admit I did play the part of "charming gal who knows nothing" so the guys would help me with the harder questions customers sometimes asked. I think they thought of me as a little sister. But now that the guys who were nice to me are all gone, I rely on the women to help me out with stuff. It's nice because there's a since of team work. I don't charm the women to help me out. We just help each other out freely.

I also like working with the females because sometimes we do have serious discussions. Many of the women who work there are becoming teachers or social workers. We talk about inequities and kids and society.

When I work with the guys, all they do is shoot elastic bands at each other. Real mature huh?

But then again, today my female co-workers all spoke with English accents. It was the strangest thing. Someone started it first and then they all did it.

When I left work, and said "Bye", one of them yelled "Cheerio!" It was pretty funny.

I used to be wary about being around women or girls because of all the gossiping that happens. And it does happen at work too. There is this other girl who allegedly spread lies about the another girl to the manager. And they talked about this "liar" girl for a while.

I know that sometimes some staff talk behind my back because I'm never actually at work (I have the least amount of shifts of all the co-workers). The reason this is is because I don't actually need to go to work to make money. I keep the job because of the benefits of free movie rentals. That's all. I purposely ask for less shifts because I feel that the job is somewhat tedious.

So according to some staff (some of the guys), I'm a "joke". It's not like I care what they think though- they will be the ones working at the same minimum wage job their whole lives while I'll be out and doing what I love.

This is why I love how the girls are so supportive of each other. Just because some of the guys do tend to test your limits.

Plotting...

So this is the plan:

Since I work at the amp, I am going to become friends with as many security guards as possible. And then when they hand out set lists at the end of the show, I can be like "Hey, remember me?"

Currently on my plate at the moment:

2 part-time jobs

1 internship

2 upcoming gigs

1 wedding to MC

1 magazine to put out

1 sunday school lesson to prepare

1 driving test to pass

1 room to clean up

All of this before Sept 7, the day school starts and even MORE to add to my plate. I'm stressed is an understatement.

Just a place for pipe dreams

The other day, at the concert venue I work at, a friendly guy struck up a conversation with me.

He said how one day, he would like to perform on the big stage. I asked "What did he play" and he replied that he did techno.

This struck me hard, as I also had aspirations to one day play on the big stage as well. And so did another of my co-workers (I overheard him saying it to someone else). Maybe most of the people who see the big stage have the same goal.

In reality though, we can't all play on the big stage. We can't all fill up 16,000 seats in one city.

As much as I'd like to in the future, play to a sold out crowd at the amp, I know that the chances of this are pretty slim. I'd like to be able to say "I used to work here, and now I'm playing here!"

So I propose this: I'm going to keep trying in reality but hold on to my dreams and not get disappointed because I'm going to try with every last ounce of my effort. All or nothing, if I fail, at least I know I've tried.

Smallville again

For those of you who don't know me from way back, I am a Smallville fanatic. You know, the TV show.

I recently bought 7 of the seasons, just for something to do during the summer. I've always wanted to catch up.

I don't remember watching any of these episodes even though I'm pretty sure I've gone through them all because I found out about songs that they were playing through watching the show years ago. It's weird to watch something like its new, but knowing you've already watched it. Is my memory that bad?

Now that I'm watching again, I get a strange feeling of nostalgia. Right now, its 2010, but I'm watching episodes that were made in 2002 or 2001. (Still second season) It's eerie looking at clothing styles that were popular from almost 10 years ago. It brings back fond memories, but its sad knowing that that's the past and we'll never go back. I mean, nothing is wrong with my life now, but sometimes relics of the past make me want to go back. Just for a day or two.

Reading blogs and thinking about life

Sometimes I want to be 16 again when everything is so new to me and everything is fantastic. Sometimes I want to be wide-eyed and naive again. Have I seen too much? Been to too many places?

Of course that's not true. I just need to do something that is different. Get off the track, run to the woods. (not sure if that is an expression, but I think you'd get what I mean)

I just love reading my cousin's blog posts. She is young, reminds me of the girl in the movie An Education. I am just 3 years older. That was me a few years ago. It's amazing how much growing you do in 3 years. I don't mean physical growth (obviously), but growth in experience, in learning about the world, in wisdom.

I feel more sure of myself now, like I can achieve anything.

Since high school, this is what I've done/memories:

-university credits (these weren't easy!)

-built really close friendships with university friends

-networked and have a sort of good collection of people who can help me or who I can help

-went to CMW, took lots of pictures

-got a photo PUBLISHED in a musician's CD

-got published in two student newspapers

-earned the title and job of Photo Editor for next year's paper

-learned photography (using an SLR)

-Bronze 4 in sailing

-G1

-Organized a successful event out of school (how do you define success?)

-read quite a few books

-had some amazing experiences with friends (if I could list them all out I would-hard to pick just one)

-okay fine, I will pick one. Ingrid Michaelson concert.

-performed music at events

-got into drama/theatre

Things I have NOT done that I would like to do more of:

-ART

-maybe go clubbing once, see what its like.

Beautiful Souls

I don't know how quite to describe what constitutes a beautiful soul- but people I meet who bear them make me so happy.

How would I describe it? They are people who ooze positivity, dreamers, artists, writers, poets. Perhaps someone with a sorrowful tale to tell but still has hope. Someone who yearns for the green grass. They are people who strive for something just out of reach, but knows that someday they will achieve whatever it is they so desire. They spread joy in this world and I'm so happy to know some people who are so gorgeous on the inside. They make this world beautiful.

Lose Control

Today I am not going to let things that I don't have any control over affect me. Sometimes you just gotta let your life slide. It's going to get messy. I'm not going to be super organized anymore with my life all in a calendar. I'm going to try this out for a week and see what happens. Maybe it'll work out, maybe it won't.

I'm not going to worry about how my actions affect anyone else. You need to be selfish once in a while. Just because someone expects you to fulfill a role doesn't mean you have to do it.

Childish? Maybe. But at least I will be free.

More goals in life:

1. Be a better daughter

2. Be a better friend

3. Be a better cousin

Thought of the Day: It's good to have ambitious goals for yourself, but its better to connect with people around you and really make a difference.

Epiphanies from creeping

I feel a bit creepy, I'm stalking my cousin's blog haha. But as I was reading it, I noticed she recorded some moments between us which weren't so significant to me, but meant a great deal to her. I want to be there for her more now.

Love Advice

(Conversation about weddings and dancing)

Me: Not many guys dance, you know.

Cole: WHAT?! Are they losers?!

Cole: You can tell a lot about a guy if he dances or not. Keep that in mind when you pick Mr. Right.

How to get people to like you

As I am typing this, I am at one of the student newspapers I write at where they are holding elections. I am watching the speeches and making mental notes of how people are making their speeches. The election and question process is pretty intense. Its a room of around 30 people all watching you while you are making a speech and then a question and answer period where questions are fired at you. Pretty nerve-racking if you ask me; some people were shaking when they made a speech.

Here is a list of things to do if you're making a speech to get an elected position:

1. Be friendly but professional in your speech. I noticed that people voted for candidates who seemed friendlier and more open. Obviously people will want to work with someone who is nice.

2. Know the position you are running for well. Some of the candidates didn't know answers to their specific field. Ex. person running for a sports editor position didn't know anything about the physical education department at school. This just looks really bad on you. So make sure you know your stuff! If you really don't know the answer to a question, use the elephant and ant technique. At least it gives you something to say.

3. Do not be sarcastic. It's all about attitude, really. There was this girl who gave a really fake smile. People like genuine.

4. Try to fit in, but stand out. It sounds like a paradox, but what I really mean is this: identify with your voters but stand out from the rest of the candidates. You need to make people remember you in a good way- don't be remembered for a bad attitude or cold air.

5. Do not be intimidated by other candidates' experience. People like candidates with experience, but passion speaks more. Obviously you need to be qualified for the job first though.

6. Have interesting ideas. It shows initiative and passion as well as creativity. It sets you apart from the crowd.

7. Use examples to make points. Vague statements are useless. Anyone can say "I have leadership skills." But to go further and say "I have leadership experience, I led this team on this year and so on" gives concrete evidence that you aren't just making stuff up. And it makes you look good too.

8. Body Language! There was this girl that crossed her arms whenever she went up to speak. Big no-no! You need to look approachable and friendly not stern and cross because then people will like you better and be more likely to vote for you.

9. Have a good time. Even if people don't vote for you, for every thing you do, you learn from it. Making a speech and answering questions gives you the experience for you to do better next time. So have fun!

Teaching Aspirations

I'm currently at my university's library. A T.A. sat down across from me and suddenly I want to be a T.A.

I've always wanted to be a teacher, ever since I was 4. Being a T.A. means fulfilling my goal of teaching. It also means getting paid a handsome amount of money on the side for something I really want to do. My cousin is a T.A. and he earns $30 an hour. Which isn't amazing compared to high level corporate jobs, but for a job that requires little to no training beforehand, this is pretty good.

The T.A. sitting across from me is pretty cool. her laptop is plastered with cool little quotes like "The most important thing is doing what you really want to do and developing yourself individually". She is the T.A. for an English class I'm presuming because she is marking essays with the topic of "lyrics in music" or something like that.

This is exactly what I'd like to do. T.A. for a class that relates to music in English. I recall that my Tutorials in Poetry class were really boring, but I'm hoping I get to T.A. a class that is less boring. I want to be a really good T.A. I want students to be excited to come to my class.

I already teach Sunday school for my church every month, but there is so little teaching each month! I do try my best to be a good Sunday School teacher. I bring my kids (who are ages 10-12) food each week, I make sure they learn something, but I don't force religion on them. I have generally good kids, just a bit rowdy sometimes (most of them are boys). They are quite obedient now that I think about it, they listen quite well. One thing I should do better is get to know them better. Next time, I'm going to bring in personality tests so I can get a sense of their learning styles and maybe help them get to know their own learning styles and personalities. Self-knowledge is quite important for kids to know don't you think? I want to somehow incorporate self-esteem building in our classes too. I want my kids to be confident in themselves yet I want them to be caring to others as well.

I have big goals for my lessons.

Now that I have concrete motivation to write really good essays in English class, I think I'm going try even harder to do well in school. Lately my focus has been on music and extracurricular activities. I mean, I do well in school but I'm not trying my best. (This is me being honest) All my energy is going to music. This could be the push that I need.

Almost a Groupie

I feel like THE ultimate creeper. I found the Facebook of the guitarist of this band. What kills me is that we have a mutual friend in common.

Speaking of bands and music, I decided to create another blog where I would write specifically about music so I could focus on more general things in this blog.

You can find it here: almostagroupie.blogspot.com

There's nothing on it yet, but there will be- so subscribe!

Dress shopping

I was shopping for a dress to wear to a wedding today and the gay sales person that helped me out asked me a few questions to see what dress he should recommend to me.


The following is our conversation:
Gay salesman: Do you want a long dress or a short dress?
Me: Ummm...
Gay salesman: Are you single or have a boyfriend?
(Me thinking in my head: how does that matter?)
Me: Single.
Gay salesman: Well, in that case, we're looking for a short dress!
(I start to giggle)
Gay salesman: That's how I'd shop for a dress!
-----

I didn't end up buying a dress today, it's probably too early for the stores to start carrying summer dresses. Well, there are a few- but its not their best.


One of my favs from off the internet. Not sure of the make.

Moments

Today I was at one of those open mic things at school. This one band played, and for one song, they said "this is one of those dance type of songs, so if you're with your significant other, go ahead and dance".

For a moment, I was brought back to middle school dances, where my gut would tighten when everyone coupled on the dance floor during the slow songs, leaving the few wall flowers (me and others) behind. No one wants to be the collective group that sits/stands during the slow dances. No one wants to be alone.

It got better in high school, I eventually got asked to dance and didn't have to sit out. But sometimes, things got awkward too: like that time someone asked me to dance for his friend (it was a fast song) and the guy who I was dancing with, his friends kept trying to push us closer together. Yikes. And then at the end I didn't want to dance with him anymore so I was making faces at my friend to come rescue me but the guy I was dancing with saw me make the faces. Awkward.

So today when the band started playing that dance song, I got that nervous gut feeling again. I was worried that 1. everyone around me would start coupling up and I'd be left alone or 2. one of my guy friends would ask me to dance and it would make it awkward for the rest of our friends.

But luckily, none of that happened. Phew! I guess university students are too cool to dance at open mics.

How do you feel about school dances?

#18943rd reason why I hate flash:

White dresses are transparent when you use flash to take a picture. Fuuuu. :(

Music

I really like how certain people make me think of certain songs. So beautiful.

If you asked me, I could describe the type of song that represents your personality, the song I hear when I think of you.

Overstimulation

I was listening to Incubus today and wanting to listen to them live.

And then I realized that I already did that.

I've seen too many shows, gone out too much- it takes more to impress me now and I forget past experiences.

I remember now that it was just this last summer that I saw them. And I was singing along with "Drive" and obsessing over Brandon Boyd (of course).

I am only 19 and developing a mild case of Alzheimers. Yikes.

Don, if you're reading this, this is why I need to take pictures of everything.

Epiphanies

Today an epiphany came to me as I was woken up by my alarm clock this morning. Random self-realizations are awesome, because through these methods, you figure out more about yourself and your preferences.

I realized today that I hated waking up in the morning. I like to wake-up whenever I want to, I'm a very unstructured person.

Thus, I when I get out of school, the job I want will probably be a job at home. Something like being a writer or photographer would do perfectly. I don't think I'd ever want to do a 9 to 5 desk job. That's not me at all.

In ten years or so, I can picture my future husband waking up to go to work, but leaving me behind in bed. I imagine that he would be the type that has a structured life (because opposites attract), but then again, maybe not.

Anyway, question of the day (to my two or so readers): What are some things you've realized about yourself lately that you weren't aware of a year ago?

and

Where do you picture yourself in ten years?

Post CMW:

I just realized I might need another week off school to recover from the festivities that happened this week. Is school work suffering? Well not right now currently, but I need to write an essay soon. Ugh.

Anyway, I wanted to share some of the stories that I will one day tell my grand children. (Unless something beats this, and I have hopes)

I was in the press room and all of a sudden, the band Mariana's Trench walks in. I've been a fan since 2005 so this is pretty big for me. I started talking to them, we got friendly and one of them brought me chocolate mousse from the catering (since media aren't allowed food- what a stupid rule)!

I know it doesn't sound that exciting, but hey, I got chocolate mousse from a band member of one of my favourite bands!

Story #2: Not really a story, but I was sitting at the same table (f0r one of the sessions) as the keyboardist of Ill Scarlett! And the lead singer of the Arkells sat behind me.

Story #3: I made eye contact with the guitarist of Crash Parallel twice! He is really cute. He looks like a less buff version of Taylor Lautner. And he plays the guitar really well.

Okay wow these stories are kind of lame, but hey, its not every day that you get to be in the same place as emerging Canadian artists and industry big wigs. There was this man from Nashville there who worked personally with Taylor Swift, lots of Hollywood types...

Oh and Jesse Labelle emailed me (because I told him I had lots of pictures of him, which I took at his show). So now I know his email... and I can bomb him with fan mail. Just kidding! I'm supposed to be professional and everything, since I work as the "media" now.

Canadian Music Week

I'm thinking I want to be like my friend, Lonely Vagabond. Prowling the streets at night, listening to live music at venues. This is when I really feel alive. I don't even have to be intoxicated to just enjoy sound.

I think I've rediscovered my love for music.

I only dream of you, my beautiful

The above is a lyric from a Muse song, penned by Matthew Bellamy.

I wonder what kind of guy he's like in person. Maybe quiet and anti-social? I knew a guy like that once. I even felt special that I was his friend because he didn't like hanging out with other people. He thought they were "fake" or something like that. He was a real Holden Caulfield. He played guitar like Matthew Bellamy and even had a British accent like him.

We were in a band together.

And then we weren't.

And it was the end of our friendship as well. Long story short: I let him and the rest of the band down as the lead singer, and everything just ended. I wonder where he is and how he is now.

There are so many people in my past. Quite a few in my present, and I can't wait to see who I'll meet in the future.

Anyway, I just wanted to point out the eerie creepiness of the lyrics that Matt Bellemy writes. If you listen to "Absolution", you'll get a feel of what I'm talking about. Everything about that album is just so haunting.

What a dark and mysterious figure... I wonder how his mind works, and if he's like Holden Caulfield, like my ex-friend.

What a gorgeous man right? His mind is so intriguing.

Lesson Learned

Well, now I know who not to tell my deepest secrets to. Good thing it wasn't that important and everything is resolved now.

Wow, I can't believe some people have such loose lips. Especially since I explicitly said "Don't tell this to anyone" right after the conversation.

Advice: Being able to keep a secret is a good trait to have. Trust is important in relationships.

Oh Taylor!

I'm suddenly going through a Taylor Swift faze because of Butch Walker's cover of one of her songs. I saw this video on YouTube and I like her dry sense of humour.

Looking Back on Today...

So freakin' glad I didn't work at the Auto Show this year. The pay was okay, but the hours and the job were horrible. Met lots of pretty people though. Hah.

It's amazing to see what has happened in a year.

Oh yeah, and the above song is an Ataris song. I was in a coffee shop the other day and heard "Boys of Summer", the Don Henley version. And I thought about the Ataris version. And I thought about summer. And suddenly I was really happy again.

Neat Discovery

I randomly picked up a magazine for gay men today. It's called Fab. It's free and you can find it around downtown.

Anyway, I was leafing through it and its quite handy for women too. There are various home recipes for soft skin including how to make natural body scrub, do facials, etc.

It was quite interesting.

Try picking up something new and reading it sometime.

Bit by the fashion bug

Would you pay $2500 for a hand bag?

$2500 could buy a lot of things. Like a small vacation. It could be two-four months rent, depending on where you live. It could feed someone in Africa for 50 months, which is three years!

Then again, I'm thinking that I'm lucky that I fell in love with a $2500 hand bag instead of a $14 000 hand bag like the Hermes Birkin. They can get pretty expensive. You can almost buy a car with that money. Or a really good used car. Birkin bags are nice, but I don't know if I could ever fork over $14 000 for one.

Notes to Future Self:

If I ever become a big and important person in the future, I am going to make sure I ALWAYS try my best to answer mail from every day people.

I emailed a local theatre writer, whom I really admire, for professional advice and he emailed back! You have no idea how giddy I am right now.

...which is probably a good thing. :)

Day dreaming...

I wouldn't mind getting paid to blog.

Instead of a real job, I mean.

Married!!!

So I'm currently sick at home. It's not too bad though. Just a sore throat. I've got plenty of things to do at home and its convenient that I got sick on a day when I didn't have any class.

I'm trying to stay positive about being sick. At least it means I won't have to get dressed today and I get to try out my herbal tea stash. I'm trying all these exotic flavours: blueberry, white raspberry, mango passionfruit, and of course, my usual cranberry tea. I'm drinking blueberry right now and its quite good.

On to the more important news: Stephen Christian is MARRIED?!

Not cool. Well, I am a little jealous of the wife because this guy is the gentlest person I have ever known and I am still smitten. He's pretty amazing. He started a charity, is a rockstar, has insightful and inspiring blogposts, wrote a book, and is really sweet and caring. Click on the link to his blogposts to see what I'm talking about. Read this one, it's really sincere and honest. And inspiring.

What a cutie... too bad he is married.

I suppose there are many more fish in the sea.

Headphone lust

The past few days have been spent with audiophile friends. People who have nice fancy headphones. After listening with their fancy brand name, high quality head phones, my own crappy JVC head phones don't compare anymore. I can hear the quality difference and it's just not the same.

Once you've been introduced to luxury, it's hard to go back...

Aren't they pretty?

Moments

Disclaimer: This is not meant to offend, I just found it funny.

I was visiting York University and attended a class with my friend. The whole time I was visiting, I felt pretty self-conscious because I felt like I didn't belong and someone would reveal me to be a pseudo York student if I did anything that made me stand out.

The whole class was pretty boring. And then the professor asked, "Does anyone know what myopia is?"

He was greeted by blank stares. I knew what it was, and I was dying to say it, but I didn't want to draw attention to myself incase he went on with further questioning like "Which program are you in?"

The professor tried to get his answer again, "Come on, a classroom full of 200 students, and no one knows what myopia is? Come on, York!"

A long silence. And then I couldn't take it any longer. I raised my hand and said "It's vision problems!"

He replied, "You are correct! Finally someone who knew!"

Under by breath, I said, "I don't go to York."

Quote of the day

Wrestlers don't date losers. - Cole Carruthers

Feeling very overwhelmed

That is what looking at Flickr does to me.

So much for me to learn!

Ready, Camera, Action!

So I'm thinking that I need more pictures or even A single picture on my blog. This thing is all grey space, no eye candy.

Speaking of eye candy... :)

How to get on the bad side of your gay boss

While both you and your boss are at the counter, a short man in his 30s, walks by.

(after a moment)

Boss: (in admiration) He was cute.

You: No he wasn't! (while making a disgusted face)

-----
He really wasn't cute. The guy that walked by had yellowish skin and a snub nose. My gay boss has bad taste in men. Tsk tsk...

-----

Okay fine. This didn't actually happen. Everything up until my speech is true though.

My boss checks out men infront of me. I suppose he's just trying to bond with me because this doesn't happen around some older married co-workers, but I find this really awkward because he has bad taste. If he picked out cute guys, maybe I would feel differently about our awkward relationship.

Today. (skipping, soldiers, theatre)

Was a relatively good day.

I slept in. Felt like having a Ferris Bueller's day, except with less shenanigans. I just stayed at home, read a book, read various things online. Oh and J-Crew, if you're reading this, thanks. I didn't expect 4 missed calls and 2 text messages from you guys asking where I was. It felt nice being missed (and I say this in the humblest way possible). I am grateful for all of you.

At around noon, I went downtown for a journalism interview (it went pretty good by the way), picked up free tickets to a theatre show. (Yay, perks of working for a publication) Met up with a friend for this journalism seminar. (I go to too many of those!)

At the seminar, the person who was speaking was a renowned war photojournalist who also shot film. He showed us footage of soldiers shooting people. It was weird for me because this was the first time I had seen people shooting at other people. All the other times, it had been war movies. This was real. I cannot describe the feeling, but it was eerie. The soldiers seemed to have a relaxed demeanor while they were killing people. It was so strange. They probably shot people every day, so by the time the photojournalist was filming, the soldier was used to shooting people. I don't think I'd ever be able to be so chill about killing people. On and on, the video rolled, and they just kept firing off more rounds! And this was all real. The soldier had sweat on his face after shooting for so long, and he stopped shooting for a moment. The commander asked if he was alright, and the soldier said "Yeah, I can keep shooting", and he just kept going.

Another thing that struck me about war was that soldiers are incredibly fit. They carry so much stuff. Guns look heavy, according to Cole, guns weigh around 25 pounds. On top of that, they have to carry their backpacking gear, wear all this heavy stuff (those army boots look heavy and clumsy), AND they have to slog through bodies of water, rough terrain, long grass... I really do admire them for their discipline to be able to get their bodies in such shape. I wonder why they decided they wanted to join the army, why they are okay with killing people for a job.

Around halfway through the lecture, we had to sneak out otherwise I'd be late for the theatre performance. (I have this terrible feeling I am going to meet the lecturer some place someday. Maybe he will be the boss of the job I will be applying for, and he'll remember my face and he'll remember that I walked out of his lecture halfway. The room was small enough for him to notice me and Cole. These things always seem to happen to me.)

The theatre performance was okay. I'm not going to write about it here because I'm writing a review on it later, and that would be redundant if I wrote the review and I wrote about it here. All I can say is: some people are really good at acting. The guy I met up with for the interview was a really nice and friendly guy, but he plays a jerk onstage. It was chilling almost. How someone could play a part so well. It was quite inspiring.

I really want to try acting in a full length play. But I know how much work that takes. And I know I don't have the time to commit to something that great yet. And I know that there are much better actors out there.

Seriously, if I could, I'd do everything. I just don't have the time.

What is crazy?

I went to a Christian fellowship meeting at my university in the past week. From the outside, Christianity seems like a cult. I mean, there we were, holding hands in a circle, praying!

It seems that we're crazy, insane people. We pray to someone we haven't met before, we love this person, but we can't prove tangibly that he exists.

This is why faith is so strong. There are a million reasons to why people don't think God exists, yet our religion looks past those rationalizations and continue to believe.

One of the main reasons I believe in God is because of the complexity of the world and the design of living species. There is no way that all of this happened by chance! Think of all the things we can do as humans: breathe, run, walk, hear, see, taste... How is it that all those are by chance?

Someone has had to create all this. We manage to live harmoniously (to a point) with nature- our carbon dioxide is used by plants and plants give off the oxygen humans need. Our body is so intricate, with three different types of blood vessels all with different functions, aiding in our breathing, in carrying waste, etc. We have lungs that we use to breathe, there are muscles and bones and our digestive system- a lymphatic system. There is seemingly no part of our body that is useless (except for the appendix which was useful earlier on). How can all this just happen randomly? If you believe in magic I suppose.

And then there is the miracle of creating another life-form: conception and giving birth. How can everything just fit so perfectly unless it were designed that way?

This brings me to a final question: are believers the crazy ones or is it non-believers who are simply too stubborn to acknowledge that there is someone out there, doing greater things?

Oh KevJumba!

As much as I obsess over KevJumba myself, I thought this was a bit creepy. Haha.

Poor guy with all his fans and girl stalkers.

I really like the nerdy glasses look

Click here to see

I would totally marry this guy if it weren't for the fact that he was already married and is 38, around 20 years older than me. Ha ha ha.

He has a nice voice and can write music. Swoon...

Lovable Losers

Definition of a loser: someone who isn't likely to succeed in life.

Lovable: you love them anyways because they are cute, charming and have many forgiving qualities.

As much as it's attractive to date someone who is successful and well in control of his life, I feel that pop culture has conditioned women to be infatuated with this particular type of men.

Some examples: Rob Gordon from High Fidelity, Archie from Archie and Friends, Ted Moseby from How I Met Your Mother, the lead male from the Korean movie, My Sassy Girl.

Traditionally, women are brought up to be attracted to successful, powerful, important men; presidents, CEOs, executives, etc. But many movies these days show women with ordinary men. Ex: choosing to marry for love rather than for power/money/fame. It's like the movie Aladdin.

I can't think of the last movie I watched where the woman chose the rich guy over the poor guy. Women are always choosing the poor guy in movies. Ex. Noah Calhoun in The Notebook, the woman in The Illusionist, Mary Jane picking Peter Parker in Spiderman... It goes on and on and on.

I suppose everyone realized that there simply weren't enough princes for all the princesses to "live happily ever after with", so they created the loveable average/ poor guy character.

We're Playin' Basketball

I jammed my finger today during a game of basket-ball with some guys. I really should stop playing around with boys. They play too rough.

It's really strange too, because I'm the only girl that plays ball, so it's hard for me to get into a game in the first place unless I know someone in the game. No one wants to play against a girl because they either have to go easy on me (I'm kind of fragile compared to them), or it'll be awkward for that one person who is guarding me because its like they're singled out to be the less experienced player. Because even I'll admit, I'm rusty in basket-ball and scared that I'll be trampled by the boys.

Today, there was a creepy mandarin guy (who wasn't there last week) who kept staring at me and walking around half-naked. And then he started talking to me, asking if I came to the gym a lot.

Okay, so why was he labelled "creepy" and not "charming"? Take note, boys (who are reading this blog): Because he kept looking at me!

If you want to be charming, talk to the girl, be friendly, but don't pay so much attention to her to the point where she feels self-conscious.

Dream on

I had this dream where it was summer and I went out to the pool and read comics and magazines. Sadly, it's only a dream, we're still in the dead of winter.

Met a really cute guy today that plays guitar and SINGS. He knows how to dress too! Rarity!

He's probably gay. Or has a girlfriend already. That's just what always happens.

Funny Moments of the Day:

Dinner with Cousins:

7 year old cousin: (to my 21 year old cousin in muffled voice) Do you like veggies?

21 year old cousin: (wanting to be a good role model) Yes of course! Veggies are good for you!

7 year old cousin: You like wedgies?

21 year old cousin: Wedgies? ...

Work Tomorrow

I feel like crying already. Ugh.

Ever since the new boss moved in, the whole place has been depressing. And not fun. He somehow seems to be able to drain the life and laughter out of the store and replaces it with artificiality and fake smiles. Everyone is edgy around him. With reason of course, since he critcizes almost everything we do and pressures us to sell things.

I hope my two favourite people to work with are there tomorrow. You wouldn't believe how much of a difference it makes to have good people to work with you.

Shopaholic

Currently reading "Confessions of a Shopaholic".

Observations:
1. The main character is really stupid and childish. I doubt there are people in real life who think that ripping up a bill payment will make it disappear.

2. I'm worried that I'll be influenced to shop from the book. After watching the movie for my best friend's birthday, the day after, I went shopping and sort of went crazy.

3. I should have never ever picked up this book in the first place. It's an easy, light read, but I'm so disappointed in the character- she keeps screwing up her life by making bad decisions. It's almost like torture, reading this book, reading about bad decision after bad decision... But I'm almost done, so I might as well finish it.

Confession

I tell everyone that I switched out of my old stats class because I couldn't understand the heavily-indian-accented prof, but that's half of the truth. I'm in this new stats class because of the gorgeous italian prof. He almost makes me want to learn math! I get up at 7:55am to attend this class. I think that speaks for something in itself.

Feeling Old

Feeling a bit frustrated because I haven't really gotten closer to what I really want to do, but Ingrid Michaelson's story is keeping me going. She started out at 23, and now at 30, she is getting better than ever, and she still acts like she's in her twenties.

Watchmen thoughts:

It's amazing how much make-up and new hairstyles can transform a person so much. I admit, I was a bit infatuated over the character Rorshach. Something about his solo walking, deep voice, fearlessness, and words makes him seem so cool.

And then he took off his mask, and I saw that the actor was Jackie Earle Haley! The same guy that played the creepy sex offender in the movie Little Children! He suddenly got a lot more attractive with orange hair and an attitude. What a great actor! He can transform so quickly! And here I was thinking, right after I watched Little Children, that Haley specialized in playing creepy outcast roles. But no! He can play a superhero! Oh by the way, the name Rorshach is really clever, the way it matches with his mask. Props to the writers of the graphic novel.

Another example of an amazing transformation: the actor Patrick Wilson who played Nite Owl II. He was gorgeous in Little Children, and yet in Watchmen, he is kind of nerdy and starting to bald. I didn't recognize him with the glasses and had to look at the credits to realize who he was!

A third example, Matthew Goode, who played the British heart throb in Chasing Liberty. In Watchmen, he completely lost his accent, became a blonde and played a (sort of) villainous, cold role as Ozymandias.

Though I can't act as well as the three above, I am now wondering how different I could look with different hairstyles or hair colours...or no hair! (haha kidding) Nevertheless, so many possibilities to explore!

Thoughts on Sherlock

He is a very sexy man. I like the fact that he can beat people up with logic. I like men with brains. Yet, though having smarts is attractive, the way Holmes carries it out in such a smooth and sleek James Bond-ish way, makes the package complete.

I used to find James Bond attractive, but he seems too unapproachable. He's got a certain style, hot girls around him all the time- he's a womanizer, and that I don't find attractive. He's the type that would make me feel like "just another one of the gang", which is definitely not cool with me. Do you see how many women Bond has sex with and then throws away?!

Don't have a plan B because it will deter you from plan A

I really cannot be a journalist for my whole life. This arrangement will not work out. I realized this today while running around for quotes from sources for a huge article.

My love is art. I still love journalism, searching for the story, discovering things, satisfying my curiousity and learning things I would not have known. I feel compelled to write whenever I discover something new, yet the stress that comes with not being able to say exactly what I mean does not sit well with me.

I suppose you can get stressed with art too. With not being good enough, or not creating enough. Or having an artistic block.

Writing is different, once you learn, it automatically flows. Style comes naturally and it is not very noticeable in journalistic writing. Once you learn the format, you get it for the rest of your life. Easy.

Maybe I should scrap the whole university business of journalism and just go back into studying art. I would be less stressed and I would be closer to fulfilling my dreams.

But I know I can't. Simply because I am still curious about journalism and also because I owe it to the future me to know what would happen if I kept going at journalism. I can always drop everything and run back to art. I can't go back to this exact program if I drop now.

I have a hot prof for one of my classes. Imagine James Marsden with hipster glasses.

He is married, but that is okay because now I know what is out there. He's really nerdy in a cute and funny way, he says things like:

"The other day, I was talking to my wife in equations. I said 'let p be the fridge, let b be the beer, open p and bring me b'".

He was joking of course, but it's still really nerdy. I wonder who he was in high school, I wonder how he met his wife.

He reminds me of Will Shue from Glee.

Dialogue

Meetings in houses:

"Okay, I will clean my room before you come over."

"Why?"

"I don't want you to think I'm a slob."

"Why do people feel like they need to clean their houses everytime someone visits? I feel it is more honest if people left their houses just the way it is."

(a pause)

"Okay. I won't clean it then."

(another pause)

"But then again, it's nice to have good personal hygiene as well..."

Liebe

I need to move to Germany and meet David Kross. I watched the trailer for his movie, Same Same but Different. I don't understand what the actors were talking about, but I recognized one word, "liebe", which means love. I feel like I'm on my way to learning and understanding this language already!

German men are so lovely. They make me wish I could speak German.