Work

I've been enjoying going to work these days.

Ever since all the old co-workers left and the new ones came, the atmosphere has been more fun. Change ain't always bad.

There are more females at work now and we all bond together. We stick together because the guys don't help us out much. It's strange. A year ago, the managers were both women and the store was staffed with mostly men. Now the managers are both men and the store is staffed with mostly women... or well the shifts I work, they are staffed with mostly women, which makes it more fun. We joke around together.

A year ago with the mostly male staff, I admit I did play the part of "charming gal who knows nothing" so the guys would help me with the harder questions customers sometimes asked. I think they thought of me as a little sister. But now that the guys who were nice to me are all gone, I rely on the women to help me out with stuff. It's nice because there's a since of team work. I don't charm the women to help me out. We just help each other out freely.

I also like working with the females because sometimes we do have serious discussions. Many of the women who work there are becoming teachers or social workers. We talk about inequities and kids and society.

When I work with the guys, all they do is shoot elastic bands at each other. Real mature huh?

But then again, today my female co-workers all spoke with English accents. It was the strangest thing. Someone started it first and then they all did it.

When I left work, and said "Bye", one of them yelled "Cheerio!" It was pretty funny.

I used to be wary about being around women or girls because of all the gossiping that happens. And it does happen at work too. There is this other girl who allegedly spread lies about the another girl to the manager. And they talked about this "liar" girl for a while.

I know that sometimes some staff talk behind my back because I'm never actually at work (I have the least amount of shifts of all the co-workers). The reason this is is because I don't actually need to go to work to make money. I keep the job because of the benefits of free movie rentals. That's all. I purposely ask for less shifts because I feel that the job is somewhat tedious.

So according to some staff (some of the guys), I'm a "joke". It's not like I care what they think though- they will be the ones working at the same minimum wage job their whole lives while I'll be out and doing what I love.

This is why I love how the girls are so supportive of each other. Just because some of the guys do tend to test your limits.

Plotting...

So this is the plan:

Since I work at the amp, I am going to become friends with as many security guards as possible. And then when they hand out set lists at the end of the show, I can be like "Hey, remember me?"

Currently on my plate at the moment:

2 part-time jobs

1 internship

2 upcoming gigs

1 wedding to MC

1 magazine to put out

1 sunday school lesson to prepare

1 driving test to pass

1 room to clean up

All of this before Sept 7, the day school starts and even MORE to add to my plate. I'm stressed is an understatement.

Just a place for pipe dreams

The other day, at the concert venue I work at, a friendly guy struck up a conversation with me.

He said how one day, he would like to perform on the big stage. I asked "What did he play" and he replied that he did techno.

This struck me hard, as I also had aspirations to one day play on the big stage as well. And so did another of my co-workers (I overheard him saying it to someone else). Maybe most of the people who see the big stage have the same goal.

In reality though, we can't all play on the big stage. We can't all fill up 16,000 seats in one city.

As much as I'd like to in the future, play to a sold out crowd at the amp, I know that the chances of this are pretty slim. I'd like to be able to say "I used to work here, and now I'm playing here!"

So I propose this: I'm going to keep trying in reality but hold on to my dreams and not get disappointed because I'm going to try with every last ounce of my effort. All or nothing, if I fail, at least I know I've tried.

Smallville again

For those of you who don't know me from way back, I am a Smallville fanatic. You know, the TV show.

I recently bought 7 of the seasons, just for something to do during the summer. I've always wanted to catch up.

I don't remember watching any of these episodes even though I'm pretty sure I've gone through them all because I found out about songs that they were playing through watching the show years ago. It's weird to watch something like its new, but knowing you've already watched it. Is my memory that bad?

Now that I'm watching again, I get a strange feeling of nostalgia. Right now, its 2010, but I'm watching episodes that were made in 2002 or 2001. (Still second season) It's eerie looking at clothing styles that were popular from almost 10 years ago. It brings back fond memories, but its sad knowing that that's the past and we'll never go back. I mean, nothing is wrong with my life now, but sometimes relics of the past make me want to go back. Just for a day or two.

Reading blogs and thinking about life

Sometimes I want to be 16 again when everything is so new to me and everything is fantastic. Sometimes I want to be wide-eyed and naive again. Have I seen too much? Been to too many places?

Of course that's not true. I just need to do something that is different. Get off the track, run to the woods. (not sure if that is an expression, but I think you'd get what I mean)

I just love reading my cousin's blog posts. She is young, reminds me of the girl in the movie An Education. I am just 3 years older. That was me a few years ago. It's amazing how much growing you do in 3 years. I don't mean physical growth (obviously), but growth in experience, in learning about the world, in wisdom.

I feel more sure of myself now, like I can achieve anything.

Since high school, this is what I've done/memories:

-university credits (these weren't easy!)

-built really close friendships with university friends

-networked and have a sort of good collection of people who can help me or who I can help

-went to CMW, took lots of pictures

-got a photo PUBLISHED in a musician's CD

-got published in two student newspapers

-earned the title and job of Photo Editor for next year's paper

-learned photography (using an SLR)

-Bronze 4 in sailing

-G1

-Organized a successful event out of school (how do you define success?)

-read quite a few books

-had some amazing experiences with friends (if I could list them all out I would-hard to pick just one)

-okay fine, I will pick one. Ingrid Michaelson concert.

-performed music at events

-got into drama/theatre

Things I have NOT done that I would like to do more of:

-ART

-maybe go clubbing once, see what its like.

Beautiful Souls

I don't know how quite to describe what constitutes a beautiful soul- but people I meet who bear them make me so happy.

How would I describe it? They are people who ooze positivity, dreamers, artists, writers, poets. Perhaps someone with a sorrowful tale to tell but still has hope. Someone who yearns for the green grass. They are people who strive for something just out of reach, but knows that someday they will achieve whatever it is they so desire. They spread joy in this world and I'm so happy to know some people who are so gorgeous on the inside. They make this world beautiful.